1. Pure Obsession (Finn) - Chapter Five


    Date: 10/9/2014, Categories: Reluctance, Author: SITTING, Rating: 20, Source: LushStories

    her hand. If she knew what I was really thinking, she wouldn’t be half as sweet. I wanted to let the lies go, tell her everything about me, tell her how I was hurting inside. But I couldn’t come clean. It wasn’t an option. And yet, the lies were killing me. I wanted her to know me, to know the real me, to know about my past and my present, and how fucked-up I was. I wanted her to understand why I was such a maniac. But there was an aching tightness in my throat. If I started talking, I knew a trickle would turn into a surge; the dam would burst and everything we had would be drowned in the despicable ocean of truth. I couldn’t lose her and yet by holding onto the deceit, I was losing myself. She edged closer to me, leaned her head against my chest and stroked my arm. “Everything’s going to be just fine.” I wished she was right. *** The summer went by too fast, the days got shorter and colder, and autumn season at the LBC drew close. It scared me. I could feel Alessandra’s obligations changing, her love for dancing was evident in everything she did, and I was afraid that our relationship would be relegated to the backburner before the lack of interest would make it fizzle out altogether. The last few months had helped her regain perspective on what she wanted, and I knew we’d both enjoyed them immensely, but real life was coming back; the hazy summer dream was over, and I knew that I’d have to work extra hard to keep us together. And yet, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be ...
    controlling or obsessive. I just wanted normality. And normality meant the change of emotions, the change of attitudes and by the time the LBC’s September’s Autumn Gala came around, I was expecting the worst. Vincent would be back in her life, and in some ways I considered him a greater evil than Daniel. Daniel had been useless, easy to eliminate, but Vincent was dark, enigmatic and so much more difficult to handle. I didn’t want to do anything. All I could hope for was that her feelings for him, whatever they’d been, were well and truly extinguished, because I didn’t have the heart to jeopardise anything that might transpire between them. I’d started thinking more about her happiness than mine. She deserved to be happy, she worked so hard while I’d been incredibly selfish. Sometimes I would try to write all my thoughts off as stupid insecurities, but deep down I knew that something between us had shifted; her smile maybe wasn’t quite so bright anymore, the feeling of dread inside me wasn’t a momentary emotion but a foreboding warning of things to come. I prayed that I was wrong, of course. But events seemed to contradict my optimism. Autumn season began, we saw each other less, she was performing and in rehearsals and I didn’t have the motivation to try and inject any excitement back into our relationship. I tried to at least see her every other day, but most evenings she was exhausted and there was nothing I could do but make her something to eat and then watch her sleep. She was ...
«12...101112...1617»