1. Pure Obsession (Finn) - Chapter Five


    Date: 10/9/2014, Categories: Reluctance, Author: SITTING, Rating: 20, Source: LushStories

    Her eyes were closed; I could see every long, dark eyelash. I couldn’t sleep. There was something inside me, refusing to switch off, refusing to close down, and refusing to let me relax. I got out of bed; left behind the sweat soaked sheets and sat on the windowsill, looking out at the world. I felt empty. Guilt washed over me. Alessandra thought I was a good guy. She thought I was a dependable, honest person. She wouldn’t be with me if she knew the truth. She wouldn’t be anywhere near me. She definitely wouldn’t be lying in my bed, with the smell of me all over her. I thought of all the girls I’d been with in the past, the one night stands and chat-up lines, and I thought about how none of it meant anything compared to her. Did she deserve to know the truth? Was there an onus on me to tell her? Sometimes, unintentionally, I would find myself telling the truth. Nothing major, nothing suicidal, but just little things that I didn’t even think about. The problem was that I couldn’t put on an act anymore. Being with her, being so close to her all the time, it was relaxing, and I didn’t have the control to keep on top of the secrets. I stopped thinking before I spoke, the words just came naturally and I’d find myself talking about things like my childhood and places I’d been and afterwards I would worry that I’d said too much and that she’d see through me, to the web of lies and deceit that our relationship was based on. I wasn’t normal. I stalked her. I got rid of Daniel. ...
    Sometimes, I wondered what would have happened with her life if I’d never shown up. Maybe she’d still be with Daniel. I tried to tell myself that I’d at least done some good by encouraging her to break up with him. And in some twisted way, it’d helped him as well. He’d left the LBC, joined a company in Switzerland, apparently determined to make a fresh start and kick his habit once and for all. I didn’t have any hard feelings anymore. I’d got what I wanted. But had I done the right thing by Alessandra? I’d lied to her. “Finn?” Her voice startled me. I glanced over my shoulder. “Yeah?” “Are you okay?” She slipped silently out of bed with that cat-like grace, her willowy silhouette coming closer, long, tousled hair hanging down her back. “I’m fine.” She stepped forward cautiously. “Are you sure? Why are you up?” I didn’t feel strong enough to meet her concerned gaze. “I couldn’t sleep. But I’m fine. Go back to bed.” “You’re not fine,” she said, and her hand came out to push my hair back a little. “You can talk to me, can’t you?” I didn’t want her to care so much. For the first time, I wished she wasn’t such a nice person. “There’s nothing to talk about,” I said, and I forced a smile onto my face. “Seriously. I was just thinking.” “About the restaurant?” she sat down opposite me. “Yeah. The restaurant.” I said quickly, glad for the excuse. “I don’t know why we waste our time dreaming.” She grasped my hand. “Dreams come true. That’s why we think about them.” “Right.” I held tightly onto ...
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