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Pure Obsession (Finn) - Chapter Five
Date: 10/9/2014, Categories: Reluctance, Author: SITTING, Rating: 20, Source: LushStories
Her eyes were closed; I could see every long, dark eyelash. I couldn’t sleep. There was something inside me, refusing to switch off, refusing to close down, and refusing to let me relax. I got out of bed; left behind the sweat soaked sheets and sat on the windowsill, looking out at the world. I felt empty. Guilt washed over me. Alessandra thought I was a good guy. She thought I was a dependable, honest person. She wouldn’t be with me if she knew the truth. She wouldn’t be anywhere near me. She definitely wouldn’t be lying in my bed, with the smell of me all over her. I thought of all the girls I’d been with in the past, the one night stands and chat-up lines, and I thought about how none of it meant anything compared to her. Did she deserve to know the truth? Was there an onus on me to tell her? Sometimes, unintentionally, I would find myself telling the truth. Nothing major, nothing suicidal, but just little things that I didn’t even think about. The problem was that I couldn’t put on an act anymore. Being with her, being so close to her all the time, it was relaxing, and I didn’t have the control to keep on top of the secrets. I stopped thinking before I spoke, the words just came naturally and I’d find myself talking about things like my childhood and places I’d been and afterwards I would worry that I’d said too much and that she’d see through me, to the web of lies and deceit that our relationship was based on. I wasn’t normal. I stalked her. I got rid of Daniel. ...