1. The Saoirse Ronan Chronicles [PART 5]


    Date: 10/2/2014, Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor, Author: thejediman, Rating: 100, Source: xHamster

    obliged to accept and said nothing of Saoirse- because... actually, I did like her. Megan wrote the number down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. I put it in my pocket.Megan: "Don't worry, Josh, hun. Just helpin' him out. You like him? You seemed to stay together, despite the bitch goin' off. You could've left."Josh: "Oh he's fucking alright. Yeah, I'm down with the helpin'. Had a little chat with him while pissin' in the toilets." Josh looked at me and winked like he did many times before.Megan: "Fab. Keep that safe, hun. Sure if you lose it, just ask Josh for the number." Josh nodded.Jake: "Thanks, I will."Megan: "Great, right- where the fuck is she? I forgot to ask. Not goin' after her or anythin' like that. Just curious. She just fucked off and left?" Oh no.Jake: "W-"Josh: "She's, um, right behind me. Conked out on the couch. Had, uh, too much to drink. Couldn't handle it. Right, uh, there..." Josh pointed toward the body of Saoirse Ronan. I motioned to Josh in disapproval. Megan looked over his shoulder and stared on for several seconds.Megan: "Hahaha. The fuck... haha. The fuckin'... she's like a fuckin' dope knocked out there. Like somebody hit her. Look at her face. The fuck. She drank? How many?"Jake: "On-"Josh: "Several. More than she could handle. A bit of a dummy's mistake. The dummy."Megan: "Yeah, she's a fucking ejit." Ouch. God, I wondered how Saoirse could ever have a friend like her. Then again, she is famous and... well, you know what I mean. Things ...
    aren't always what they seem. A bitch making accusations of bitchness. I looked down to the ground. I was wondering if I should stand by Saoirse's body to make sure Megan doesn't try to take a swing- but... then Megan opened her mouth... again.Megan: "Should take fuckin' pictures of this- fuckin' class."Josh: "Already did. Several. I'll show you all of them some time, not now." Megan's face lit up with a smile.Megan: "Nice. Gonna upload them? Put them on facebook or somethin'. Or even a porn site, fuck- hahaha!"Josh: "Nothing lewd. Just her u*********s, obviously. Yeah, I don't know about facebook, but I'll do somethin' with em'. Promise."Megan: "Good. Jesus, she's really fucked, isn't she? Never seen her like that. Deserves it, though."Josh: "Yeah, she's fucked alright..." Josh looked over to me. Not again... ugh.Megan: "Right, right I'm gonna head off now, I want teh go ho-"Josh: "Hang on. Hang on. I have something to show you. Something I discovered, when she left something behind after going somewhere for a bit. Couldn't resist..." Megan listened.Jake: "J-"Josh: "Her bag."Megan: "Handbag...?"Josh: "Along with her phone, some shit and some other shit."Megan: "Yeah? What about it?"Josh: "I found a condom inside her bag. Unused. In the cover." He didn't... yeah, he did. He lied. Just like I knew he would.Megan: "A fuckin' condom? You're jokin'."Josh: "Nope. Full, fresh, unused Durex condom."Megan: "Seriously? She fuckin' lied then. She was plannin' to shag, wasn't she? Well ...
«1...345...1920»