1. Pure Obsession (Finn) – Chapter Four


    Date: 10/7/2014, Categories: Reluctance, Author: SITTING, Rating: 21, Source: LushStories

    nothing serious between them. I wanted to turn it into something more but then again I didn’t want to ruin whatever we already had by bringing up the idea. So I stayed in that state of uncertain limbo, halfway between joy and disappointment, constantly trying to tip the scales in the direction I wanted to go. It was taking too long though. Spring season at the LBC was coming to an end and the company was going on tour to Spain for two weeks. Alessandra wasn’t excited and she told me as much. She didn’t look forward to jetlag and cheap hotels and foreign critics. I was even less enchanted because I was afraid that she’d go and when she came back nothing would be the same. She’d realise she didn’t need me and the distance between us would extend even further and we wouldn’t have anything to talk about. I felt ridiculous for being so dependent on uncontrollable things and yet every time I was with her I found myself biting my tongue to stop myself telling her how I really felt. I didn’t just want to be her friend, her shoulder to cry on. I wanted to be more. I wanted to be an irreplaceable part of her life, someone for whom she had love as well as respect. June was coming closer and the last performance of the season was over. Rehearsals were well underway for the tour and I started unintentionally counting down the hours until her departure. I felt almost ethereal during that time. There was nothing to look forward to. I just did my job and the long summer days only provided ...
    more time for me to think about how badly I’d strayed from my plans. I should have told her how I felt from the start. I shouldn’t have let the soft side of me be content with friendship. I wanted to be close to her, feel her body against mine, and feel her fingernails dig into my back as we lost ourselves in each other. But there I was, dreading the inevitable, mopping corridors for seven pounds an hour, as I dreamt about what could have been. I was on the verge of accepting my fate, of throwing away the memories when she caught my heart again and wouldn’t let go. It was a Thursday afternoon. I was loitering in the car park under the pretence of picking up litter when Alessandra came up to me, her bag over her shoulder. “Finn?” I turned, surprised. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you meant to be in rehearsals?” I glanced at my watch. “Did someone get injured?” She shook her head. “I’m not going.” “What? Where?” I took a closer look at her. “Have you been crying?” “No. Listen.” She frowned at me. “What I was saying… I’m not going on tour.” Her voice trembled a little and I wanted to comfort her but confusion was running rampant in my mind. “What? You’re leaving like… tomorrow.” She shook her head again. “I don’t want to go. I don’t have to go. I just don’t care anymore.” “Why not?” “I’m sick of him. Vincent,” she clarified, at my baffled expression. “All he ever does is yell. And I honestly can’t be bothered any more.” “Oh.” I frowned. “Can you just do that? Won’t you get in trouble?” ...
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