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Pure Obsession (Finn) – Chapter Four
Date: 10/7/2014, Categories: Reluctance, Author: SITTING, Rating: 21, Source: LushStories
looked blurry through the water, and the shadowy pavements shone with reflections. It should have been dark and yet the lights from the cars and lamps lit everything up. There were no words to describe how I felt at that moment. I had this sick, nagging voice in my head telling me that there was no point, that everything was over. I’d given up an entire life and for what? If I’d never seen her I wouldn’t be walking to a leaky, damp flat at this hour of the night. I wouldn’t have cared. I shouldn’t have cared. What was she? Why did she have to mean anything to me? I was an idiot. Maybe I should have just stuck to the parties and clubs, the showcasing of glamour and wealth. It had been fun, some of the time. Why had I believed that I could just become another person? I couldn’t. I was rotten from the inside and no change in appearance or lifestyle could ever alter that. Maybe this was my destiny. To be alone, forever. The last couple of months now felt like a foolhardy, delusional dream. How goddamn arrogant had I been to believe I could make myself a part of someone else’s life? No research could have told me how she felt inside. She probably pitied me. The thought made me sick. The blare of a horn echoed in my ears as I crossed a road without looking. I didn’t even know where I was going. I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to go somewhere else. Maybe to my old apartment. At least it would be warm. But there was probably someone else living there now, someone who could ...