1. Pure Obsession (Finn) - Chapter Five


    Date: 10/9/2014, Categories: Reluctance, Author: SITTING, Rating: 20, Source: LushStories

    heard it all before, ten times over in fact. Her brother insisted on taking us out to a restaurant afterwards, even though it was pretty late. He seemed like a nice enough guy, and anyone who could sing like him couldn’t really be bad. He talked about his job, teaching at a secondary comprehensive in Tottenham, the long hours and the kids who he tried to inspire only to be met by teenage opposition and limited success. From my point of view, he was already a success, at least on the inside. He was honest and dedicated, and even without reward, he worked hard. I felt almost like the universe was sending me a sign saying I should be more like him and less like me. And then, even as I sat there trying to feel good about myself, listening to the familial banter, I felt incomplete. I needed something more. Deep down I knew what it was and yet I wasn’t willing to accept it. Everything was going well and I felt bad. I felt bad for lying, even though we hardly talked about the past anymore. I told less lies everyday, and yet I was living a lie. Finn Donoghue wasn’t me. I was still the rich kid, messed-up beyond repair, undeserving of the people whose lives I’d played my way into. I took a break from my ominous thoughts to glance around the brightly-lit restaurant, and all of a sudden, I felt my blood run cold. There, a couple of tables away, was my mother. I felt my heart skip a beat. Her eyes caught mine and I had this anxious, sick feeling she might come over and introduce ...
    herself, not to ruin my evening, but just because she craved contact with me. I had to act, fast. “Hey, I just saw someone I know,” I said, hurriedly. “I’ll be right back.” “Oh, okay.” Alessandra and Maurizio were too engrossed in their conversation to be interested. The legs of my chair scraped across the polished marble floor. I crossed over to her table in a few short strides. She was already standing up, like she was waiting for me, expecting me. “What are you doing here?” The question came out in a colder tone than I would have liked. She held my gaze evenly. “Meeting a friend.” I breathed in slowly. “Do not screw this up for me.” “Screw what up? Your insane games?” She looked past me to Alessandra. “Doesn’t she have a right to know who you really are?” “This is who I am.” I said, quietly. “I’m telling you not to screw this up.” “Finn, I haven’t seen you in months.” “If you screw this up, you’ll never see me,” I said seriously. “Ever. I mean it.” Her hand came out, caught mine. “Finn, what happened?” I fought the urge to pull away. “What are you talking about?” “You. Me. Us. I have memories of us. There was a time when you cared about me.” I laughed. “Seriously? You thought I cared? I only ever spent time with you because you wanted it. Not because I wanted it.” She shook her head. “Not that. Before that. When you were a child. And then all of a sudden, you stopped. You stopped being close to me. Why?” I stared at her. “I grew up. I saw you for what you were.” “And what am I?” ...
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