1. Pure Obsession (Finn) - Chapter Five


    Date: 10/9/2014, Categories: Reluctance, Author: SITTING, Rating: 20, Source: LushStories

    not mine.” “It’s our future.” I said. “No. You’re the one who knows how to cook. It’s all yours. I’d just get in the way.” I stood up, pacing across the worn carpet, trying to think of something, anything, that could make her stay. “I need you.” “You don’t. I’m not good for you. I mean, the summer was beautiful, but you know my schedules are going to be even crazier from now on. Especially in winter.” “I can handle it. Believe me, I can.” I looked into her face, imploringly, already knowing I couldn’t change her mind. “This is a fucking joke! So all of this… everything we had, it meant nothing to you? You’re just going to walk away from it? Is this the way you operate?” “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” She sounded like she meant it, the crack in her voice, the way she couldn’t meet my gaze. “You’re making a mistake.” “Maybe. But what’s life without mistakes, huh? If it is, I’ll learn from it, if not… we’ll both end up happy.” “No.” I tried to think of something that could force her to change her mind. “No. We have something amazing.” “Don’t kid yourself, Finn. We’re not in love with each other. We’re in love with the idea of being in love.” She looked resigned. “It’s not the same thing.” I frowned, trying to comprehend her words and wondering whether there was any sense in them. Maybe there was. Maybe she was right, but… no. Not after all my hard work. If she was out of my life, there’d be nothing left to live for. What would I have? “Love doesn’t even exist,” I ...
    snapped. “It’s just a stupid concept, just to… I don’t know! It’s not real.” “Just because you’ve never felt it, doesn’t mean it’s not real.” she said softly. “Oh yeah? Like Heaven? Or God? Satan?” My tone dripped with sarcasm. “Exactly.” “No, this is bull. You’re just obsessed with that goddamn AD.” I turned away from her, staring at the walls of my room. “You know, he’s twenty years older than you. That means he’s going to die twenty years before you.” She didn’t say anything. “I mean, he’s old!” I said, and I could hear the desperation in my voice as I tried to convince her of Vincent’s flaws. “And he’s not patient or affectionate or any of these things I’ve been. All he cares about is his goddamn company. You know, maybe he’s just charming you so you won’t leave and go join a different place. You ever thought about that?” I ran my hands through my hair. “I can change. I’ll be whatever you want me to be. I’ve never… I’ve never been with anyone this long; you make me feel like I can be a normal guy.” I could feel the lies slipping away and I felt on the brink of confessing everything. “This isn’t me. I can change. Do you want that?” She didn’t reply. I turned around but the space where she’d sat was vacant. “Alessandra?” I strode out of the room. The door into the hall was wide open. Her jacket was still hanging on the peg, but I heard the distant sound of footsteps on the stairs. I went after her, but was already too far behind. I’d always been behind. Once I got out of the front ...
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