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Note To Self
Date: 11/27/2014, Categories: Bisexual, Author: blin18, Rating: 6, Source: LushStories
don’t have time to dither. I think she took a chance with her message. I want to, too. Here’s what I just sent: @SgtAnna24415: Forgiven. Yes drinks, Fri night. Wear something sexy ;-) Anna Oh crap. What have I done now? The wink smiley was meant to say ‘I’m joking,’ but it could be taken another way. I think part of me knew that before I hit send. ~~~ Private journal of Anna Volakas Wednesday 24 th September, 2014 I feel sick. Susan hasn’t replied to my IM. I’ve been re-reading my journal and comparing it to my memory, and now I’m not sure what was real and what I made up. I think it was all real. I think I felt something and I think Susan did too, but I didn’t start thinking that way until Monday. What really happened? And we were joking around! My IM was no worse than any of what we said face-to-face, but it’s hard to convey tone in text. That’s why I added the smiley; just kidding! Shit, now she thinks I’m a lesbian. But what was I trying to say? I don’t think I know any more. I’ve been looking at that last line for twenty minutes now. I do know what I was trying to say. I was trying to say ‘I’m game, but you go first.’ What a coward. I don’t have time for writing today. I need to think about this some more. Or maybe I need to forget about it… ~~~ Private journal of Anna Volakas Thursday 25 th September, 2014 @Susan.Richards.MD : Sorry surgery day 4me yest and missed ur msg. 8pm at ShangriLa tmrw. Sus x That just came through. I have a late shift tonight and an early ... tomorrow, so I need to do housework now instead of thinking about her. No time for writing. Shit. I’ve been sitting here thirty minutes. I need to get moving. What does she mean? An excuse for not replying earlier; can I take that at face value? Let’s say yes, so there’s nothing in that. There’s nothing about my joke; so that’s bad. If she took it as a joke then she’d joke back. If she took it seriously and wanted to go further, she’d joke back – maybe thinly veiled. But nothing? Did it upset her? Or is she still thinking about it? And then ‘Sus x’; it’s probably just her standard signoff, but would you blow a kiss to someone who just made an inappropriate sexual advance? (If that’s even what I did…) Anyway, we’re still going out. I think something will happen, one way or another. I’m not sure what I want any more. But then I never was … ~~~ Private journal of Anna Volakas Friday 26 th September, 2014 I just came off shift and a workout and I’m pumped. Shots fired today; nobody hurt, but it always gets me buzzing. Nick is picking up Jimmy and they’re eating at Nona’s, so I have the rest of the afternoon to myself before I meet Susan. I need to get the rest of this down; maybe then I’ll know what to do. If we’re going to spend the whole evening together alone, then Sunday is going to come up. What it meant to her. What it meant to me. It has to. I dreamt again last night; the same one. I must have been thinking about what would happen tonight. Phew! This is intense. I’m trying to ...