1. The Glamorous Granny


    Date: 10/18/2014, Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Author: DrVonWankenstein, Rating: 83, Source: xHamster

    1986 or possibly 1987, I was in my mid 20's and going out with Viv, a BBC TV producer who was both gorgeous, and incredibly . During Whitsun week I found myself some hundred miles away from her, at a Holiday camp in South Wales, as bassist in a hastily put together backing band for a fading glam rocker who was appearing for a week's residency. I will call him Rocky for the sake of argument, but I do not refer to Handsome b**sts frontman Rocky Shades here, though we do know him. Rocky's tastes in recreation would not pass the filters here, shall we say. So there we were, at Butlins Barry Island. My mate Kevin was playing guitar in the band, and also filling in on vocals where Rocky's staple diet of whisky, cigarettes etc did not allow him to dare to tread. We did all week with Rocky, two 45 minute spots per night, which allowed us a LOT of free time, but on the last day, the Friday, something blew in Rocky, and he was bleeding in his throat, and an ambulance took him away to Cardiff General hospital. Kev and I took the vocals and the band did an impromptu set of rock and glam rock classics to fill the night in, we went down far better than Rocky, we even encored with one of his. After the second set we hung out at the bar, and watched the glamorous granny competition, and yes they REALLY DO have them. And knobbly knees competitions. This is British culture at it's lowest ebb. Seaside portcards, fish and chips, like "Hi De Hi" or one big Carry On film. The clientele are ...
    staunchly working class, NO ONE would go there if they didn't take c***dren or grandc***dren, so our chances of pulling were limited. There were teens there, who had grudgingly gone on holiday with their families, but were under their strict supervision. Any women of our age group were themselves parents, and there with their c***dren. It was unexpected shall we say, when one of the glamorous grannies was really VERY glamorous. We could not make out how old she was, her figure was remarkably toned, and put to shame many of the teens. We reasoned that to qualify she'd be likely to be in her mid to late 40s, but her face and hair belonged to a bygone era of black and white heroines, Grace Kelly, Ingrid Bergman , Lauren Bacall - that type of thing. She was outstandingly beautiful. It was no surprise when she won, so then Kev dared me to go and pull her. When she appeared with her prize of a bottle of Happy Shopper Asti Spumante I walked casually past. "Congratulations!" I called over, "very well deserved" I smiled She had several f****y members around her, and I could not quite work out who was who. She could not POSSIBLY be single, surely. To my surprise she called me over. "Did you want to help me celebrate?" she smiled " I think it's vintage" she looked the the bottle doubtfully "Hmm" I said, "not with that" The f****y members withdrew, and went off to dance with Captain Crocodile or some such. I called the barmaid over and bought a bottle of decent Australian Chardonnay, on Rocky's ...
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