1. Every Sign I Read is Wrong, Baby


    Date: 9/17/2015, Categories: Lesbian, Author: puddleduck, Rating: 3, Source: LushStories

    call of the Englishwoman was ‘God I’m drunk’ and you said your sign was a bottle of Pinot Grigio, because you wanted to fuck after two glasses. And that conversation led into another about the potential sexual attributes of some boys in hall. You were reeling off a list – I only knew half of them – and I was giving my polarised opinion: fuckable or forgettable. After a while you paused and said,“Now, what about Nigel Ferris?” That was loaded, I thought. It was obvious he was weird. But I should have noticed someone brushing against me seconds before as they sat down next to me at the table. I was too engrossed to realise. You knew that. “The one on my course?” I rolled my eyes and I was like: “He’s odd. But with a nose that big,” I leaned over closer across the table and said, “I bet he’s got a massive cock.” I sat back, kind of pleased at my vulgarity. But you weren’t looking back at me. You were staring red-faced at the person on my right, biting your lip and trembling with laughter. I followed your gaze – and said hello to Nigel Ferris. * But that was when we were inseparable friends. But I need to talk about my crush at some point don’t I? Can I explain? I promise, I never thought of you as anything more than a friend until the night I had a dream about you. And the funny thing: I had the dream in bed at my boyfriend’s parents' house one weekend. I don’t know if I’ll tell you all its details, but I want to run through it in my head first. I kind of like it too. Well the ...
    dream was that we were both at a massive toga party in the dining hall. It felt like there were thousands of us crammed in there. There were even people from my junior school, and they were tiny and serving glasses of champagne. My mum and dad were on stage playing in a band. My mum had a hat on and was trying to play a clarinet, but everyone was cross with her because she was so out of tune. It was hot and smelled of the beer that was swimming on the floor. I could feel sweat running down my back and my toga was uncomfortable. I was pushing my way through the crowd, wading through this beer. You were somewhere behind, following. You had a big bag of grapes in your hand and were wearing a green garland in your hair. I hadn’t noticed that somehow the back of my toga had unravelled and my bum was exposed. The weird thing was, as I was jostling through, nobody noticed. Except you. Just as we emerged through the crowd to an open space I felt a small, cold hand on it. It was yours. You leaned forward and said, “Let’s go to a Roman orgy.” I said, “Oh okay. I know where one is.” I didn’t, but I thought I should find one for you. So I took your hand and we went up in the lift to our floor. I was unravelling. By the time we reached my room I was basically clutching a corner of the sheet over my front with my right hand, holding yours with my left. The rest of the sheet was trailing along the carpet behind me. As soon as I unlocked the door, we fell into the room. The light was already ...
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